courage = honesty + resilience

We’re handling failure with a lot of lip service. You’ve got the ‘fail conferences’ and #FailForward. We’re still trying to spit-shine failure. When failure doesn’t hurt, it’s not failure. If you’re a leader who wants to be helpful around failure, then stand in front of your team and say, “We failed, and this is what it felt like.” Shame needs three things to grow: secrecy, silence and judgment.

One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on “going it alone.” Somehow we’ve come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we’re very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It’s as if we’ve divided the world into “those who offer help” and “those who need help.” The truth is that we are both.

When you judge yourself for needing help, you judge those you are helping. When you attach value to giving help, you attach value to needing help. The danger of tying your self-worth to being a helper is feeling shame when you have to ask for help. Offering help is courageous and compassionate, but so is asking for help.

Brene Brown, excerpted from her writing + an interview to Time Magazine

Art by Mari Andrew

forgive your old self

I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 AM of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends.

Joan Didion

GIF by Chilean artist and illustrator Xaviera Lopez

weekly earworm- Aint No Sunshine (covers)

a very 90’s riff on the original

the cello adds a lovely layer

slow, sweet and perfect for a hurricane lamplit evening thing,
the smells of crushed wet lawn grass and hors d’oeuvres mingling

for when you’re really, truly wallowing in loneliness but want to make something lovely and powerful and self- affirming of it

for when you want to liven things up during a post- dinner lull

because Ed Sheeran

must i?

When you’ve misread the invite to a function and you get dressed in separate rooms and then your husband-in-jeans goes it’s a casual thing, please…maybe tone it down a little?

उँगलियाँ यूँ न सब पर उठाया करो

उँगलियाँ यूँ न सब पर उठाया करो
खर्च करने से पहले कमाया करो

ज़िन्दगी क्या है खुद ही समझ जाओगे
बारिशों में पतंगें उड़ाया करो

दोस्तों से मुलाक़ात के नाम पर
नीम की पत्तियों को चबाया करो

शाम के बाद जब तुम सहर देख लो
कुछ फ़क़ीरों को खाना खिलाया करो

अपने सीने में दो गज़ ज़मीं बाँधकर
आसमानों का ज़र्फ़ आज़माया करो

चाँद सूरज कहाँ, अपनी मंज़िल कहाँ
ऐसे वैसों को मुँह मत लगाया करो

राहत इन्दौरी

Art by Paul Maguire

they don’t know you. you know you.

When people tell you who they are, Maya Angelou famously advised, believe them. Just as important, however, when people try to tell you who you are, don’t believe them. You are the only custodian of your own integrity, and the assumptions made by those that misunderstand who you are and what you stand for reveal a great deal about them and absolutely nothing about you.

– Maria Popova

GIF source unknown