ask her first

Giving talks around the country, I sometimes ask the audience, “How many of the men here ever found out where a girl lived or worked by means other than asking her? How many have driven by a girl’s house to see what cars were there, or called just to see who answered the phone and then hung up?”

By the overwhelming show of hands, I’ve learned that the acceptability of these behaviours is a matter of degree.

Gavin de Becker in ‘The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence’ (emphasis in excerpt my own)

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